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The Mock TFT Uprising.

Background.

The world has always been rocked by revolutions. The cycle of history necessitates such revolving instances. First, the Red Terror takes over, purging the old-guard, and then the revolution is smitten by the subsequent White Terror. The same has been true for auto-manufacturing. Popular uprisings of the past have been the "I Am Spartacus" revolt of 2nd Century Rome, the "Kill Your Lord" uprising of 1525 and the "Satan Rocks, Dude!" rebellion of disaffected teen-age youth. Uprisings in your neighborhood can be contacted through the local Civil Defence Department branch office.

The Event.

On October 14, 1996, the Order of Ten-Fat-Tigers staged a symbolic uprising. The affair began with Mr. Granby dressed in an East German border guard outfit marching up to a rostrom, proclaiming the wonders of the UW's oppressive system. Hanging from the rostrom was a banner mandating that students "SUPPORT THE EVIL STUDENT GOVERNMENT." He was not up there long, for two Ten-Fat-Tigers commandos then rushed the the aid of the oppressed by hurling ham slices at Granby and puling him from the rostrom. Communism never wins, you commies.

A new banner was flung down proclaiming "Viva Ten-Fat-TIgers!" as the Maoist revolution was underway. The "body" of Granby was then lynched by the neck to represent how poor a human rights record Ten-Fat-Tigers has. Unfortunately for the event, the shoddily constructed "body" broke apart when hung, flinging its delicious candy insides everywhere. Mother Superior Heidi Olson then burst upon the scene with a large polo stick and proceeded to beat the half-corpse into a fine paste.

Granby then rose, having been re-educated and gave a ravenous oration [text] professing how much better it is to be under the control of the Order. At that point, piss-boy Carlson emerged from the bushes wearing a slinky tiger suit and danced about, showing off his fine white ass. Someone then wet their pants.

A good time was had by all.

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