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The Golden Shaft Award.

Background.

In all of human history nothing has shone so bright as DEEK. Was it not DEEK that carried Alexander across the Ganges, or Caesar across the Rubicon? Indeed, it was DEEK in the heart and mind of GIlles de Rais as he molested and tortured to death 100 children in 15th century France. Today DEEK can still be found everywhere, if it is not so conspicuous. There is DEEK on your walls. There is DEEK in your post office. There is DEEK in your faucet. There is DEEK in the cop knocking at your back door. The sublime manifestation that is DEEK cannot long be ignored. Therefore it has been the ever mounting imperitive of all Institutions for the Aged and Retired to promote DEEK so that it may take its rightful place in our technocratic society.

The Event.

September 17th, 1997 was a beautiful day. And its beauty was quite well accentuated at around 12:45 in the afternoon when there could be seen, glistening in the sunlight, a 15-foot long golden penis. Such a sight had been prophesized by a man who trudged along wearing a sandwich board that read: "THE PENIS IS COMING."

The good Order was parading its latest construction down State St., Madison's main thoroughfare of hipsters and hippie-bashers. 6 penis-bearers, marked by their white lab coats and goggles were busy dodging signposts and the elderly as some 8 others, wearing bubble-wrap, chanted along.

The procession began to ascend the formidible Bascom Hill and the bearers then erected the monsterous genetalia. The scene was not unlike the glorious flag raising over Iwo Jima, as was remarked by one war vetern who took part in the parade. Once the penis was up and the media circus reached its height, the Order began to scare everyone off with more of its patented vile rantings.

Finally, when it came time to determine who would end up the lucky posessor of the glistening rod, Manservant Jeremy Ward came to present the list of nominees for the 1st Annual Golden Shaft Award. Although many expected last year's winner, Charlton Heston to sweep the awards, the UW Chancellor David Ward came off as the lucky limey. The Chancellor retrieved his monumental award late that night, and placed it high upon his roof top for all to see. His wife is much happier now.

And so are we.

SEE:

The penis under construction. [14k]
The penis in transit. [21k]
The penis erect. [60k]
The power of penis. [27k]
A lull in the penis festivities [33k]
The perpetrators and their penis. [12k]
The penis as monumental fixture. [13k] (ATTN Media: Good publicity shot.)

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tft@devo.com