Manifesto of the A.E.I.O.U.:
Ladies, Gentlemen, counter-revolutionaries, we are the A.E.I.O.U., the Secret Revolutionary Branch of the Order of Ten-Fat-Tigers. We are here tonight because we have had enough of this "University" which deigns to provide us with this farce of a "Student Government." We are sick of negotiations that go nowhere. We are tired of the corrupt idiocy that this institution seems to prize. Thus, we are doing away with our normal tactics of political discourse in favor of low-intensity conflict.
Myself and my fellow brigaderos are taking this "Student Council" hostage.
All of you here tonight will remain in the protective custody of the People until the
University agrees to and meets our demands. When and only when the University acquiesces to the will of the Homeland will you be released. No harm will come to you if you cooperate, otherwise you face the burning, terrible wrath of los muchachos borrachos! We will provide you with food and shelter until this situation is resolved. No Japanese Ambassadors to Peru will be held against their will.
So, in the name of the A.E.I.O.U. and the High Council of the Order of Ten-Fat-Tigers, we make the following demands of the University of Wisconsin-Madison: